Dear Reader:

I was really on my high horse last week, wasn't I? Judging McDonalds. Acting like it was beneath me to even think of partaking of a beautifully delicious burger. Like this Half Pint would ever put down his carrot sticks for the mere whim of fast food euphoria. Well what did I do after watching a late night showing of  Travel Channel's Man v. Food? I put all my healthy cares to the wind and without a blink of an eye ran to experience Chick and Ruth's Delly in Annapolis, MD. Yes, my dear reader, amid the stunning array of boats and preppy wonderment of Annapolis is an establishment so sinfully scrumptious that I could feel Ronald McDonald give me the "Oh no he didn't" head shake as I walked through the tiny double doors. Because it is there within those hallowed orange walls which houses the infamous Colossal Challenge. What is the Colossal Challenge you might ask? Well it combines a 6 lb. milkshake with either a 1 lb. Colossal burger, Colossal Reuben, or 1 1/2 lb. Sandwich. If the brave soul can finish the above in under an hour they receive a t-shirt and their picture on the Chick and Ruth website.

As much as I wanted to try this challenge in full, I refrained. I love milkshakes enough not to waste it on my stubborn pride. And besides there was a "clean up your own vomit" portion of the Colossal Challenge contract that I just knew I couldn't fulfill. So instead, I initiated my own Half Pint challenge of finishing the Colossal burger by itself and I was ultimately successful. Partially because the burger was so smoky and delicious. And partially because I wouldn't let the waitress who doubted my order choice, with her knowing smile, take away anything less than a clean plate.

Luckily, Scott, the brave gentleman next to me decided to take the full challenge so I was able to experience the excitement of watching someone actually masticate against the clock. Scott's calling: a 1 lb. Colossal Burger with cheddar cheese and a 6 lb. Strawberry milkshake in an hour. But upon completion of our meal we were quickly ushered out by the busy waitress before the buzzer rang so it is unknown whether he indeed won the challenge. However, I have a great amount of faith in Scott's plan of attack (Smothering of ketchup and a large glass of ice water.) so I know that I did in fact witness another Chick and Ruth's Champion because a true gentleman nevers gives up even under berry thick circumstances.

With Ketchup and Vomit Clauses,
HPG

                      
                                                The hallowed halls on Main Street.

                                 
                           My Colossal Burger covered in Half Pint approved provolone.

                   
                       Scott, posing with his Colossal burger and 6 lb. Strawberry milkshake.