The Power of THIS.
Dear Reader:
I'm a door slammer. A screamer. A finger pointer. A yeller. But above all, I have the worst potty mouth this side of the Mississippi. I can't help myself. I'm educated. Roughly well mannered. But when I have the itch, I just have to scratch. Some people crave chocolate. I crave screaming," F$%& you, you f$!* face! I mean I've come by it honestly. From my weekends with my Grandpa as a punk kid to my years in the Marine Corps, I became totally immersed in the absolute Power of F$&%.
F$&% could change the world in a minute. It could silence. It could shock. It could get the motors running. But its use could also make you, yourself look like a total.....well......f$&% face. So over the last month, I've taken account of my use of the word so that I could talk more like a gentleman and less like an absolute jerk. It's been hard. Really hard. Really really hard. I've stuttered. I've slipped. I've fallen flat on my jerk face.
All because I was missing that special something: an outlet for my rage.
Little did I know during a night out in Glover Park, I would meet an angel who would ease my woes with a simple lesson. She told me how she discovered the Power of THIS.
What is the Power of THIS? It's easy and breezy folks. A quick teach:
1)When the metro door closes on your leg after you've run down the escalator. Simply say: This.
2)When a drunken GW sorority girl spills her drink on you at The Rookery. Simple say: This.
3)When you run into your ex with a younger and more attractive version of yourself. Simply say: F*#$ you in your head. But say, "This" after you smile and nod through awkward introductions.
The Power of THIS is in the tone of your voice. Get low. Get whispery. Curl your lip up like a mean ole bull dog. You'll be surprised how more forceful and scary your reactions will seem when you simply use the Power of THIS.
( I tried using "This YOU" but it didn't have the same ring at F*%$ YOU. Oh well.)
Kind regards and happy thising,
HPG
( This post is dedicated to my sweet and fun angel. You know who you are.)
I'm a door slammer. A screamer. A finger pointer. A yeller. But above all, I have the worst potty mouth this side of the Mississippi. I can't help myself. I'm educated. Roughly well mannered. But when I have the itch, I just have to scratch. Some people crave chocolate. I crave screaming," F$%& you, you f$!* face! I mean I've come by it honestly. From my weekends with my Grandpa as a punk kid to my years in the Marine Corps, I became totally immersed in the absolute Power of F$&%.
F$&% could change the world in a minute. It could silence. It could shock. It could get the motors running. But its use could also make you, yourself look like a total.....well......f$&% face. So over the last month, I've taken account of my use of the word so that I could talk more like a gentleman and less like an absolute jerk. It's been hard. Really hard. Really really hard. I've stuttered. I've slipped. I've fallen flat on my jerk face.
All because I was missing that special something: an outlet for my rage.
Little did I know during a night out in Glover Park, I would meet an angel who would ease my woes with a simple lesson. She told me how she discovered the Power of THIS.
What is the Power of THIS? It's easy and breezy folks. A quick teach:
1)When the metro door closes on your leg after you've run down the escalator. Simply say: This.
2)When a drunken GW sorority girl spills her drink on you at The Rookery. Simple say: This.
3)When you run into your ex with a younger and more attractive version of yourself. Simply say: F*#$ you in your head. But say, "This" after you smile and nod through awkward introductions.
The Power of THIS is in the tone of your voice. Get low. Get whispery. Curl your lip up like a mean ole bull dog. You'll be surprised how more forceful and scary your reactions will seem when you simply use the Power of THIS.
( I tried using "This YOU" but it didn't have the same ring at F*%$ YOU. Oh well.)
Kind regards and happy thising,
HPG
( This post is dedicated to my sweet and fun angel. You know who you are.)
"This" is a most timely and perfectly mannerly way to express one's inner rage, disgust or just plain irritation. Well done, hpg!
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