Calming the Jekyll and Hyde Within
Dear Reader:
As every Washingtonian knows by heart: With Spring, THEY come. FBI t-shirts, metro maps and bewildered grins fill our fair city streets. Yes, the infamous tourists. Its strange, and I'm likely the only one out there who feels this way, but I actually like tourists. Well, sort of. I've equated it to a Jekyll and Hyde relationship. One side of me goes insane when they block Metro exits, and stand on the left side of the escalator. However, the other side of me loves that the city is overrun with more folks who are shorter than me, well at least until their middle school bus drives off into the sunset.
So as you know my dear reader, I've made these promises to myself to become a gentleman and yesterday on the Metro I had my first true test of gentlemanly conduct with these tourist folk. Now, everyone knows a gentleman never loses his temper. Geesh, that's an easy one right? Not so for this Half Pint man. In fact, I've had a Jekyll and Hyde relationship in every arena of my life since I was a wee tater tot. While the civilized world taught me to mask this, unfortunately my stint in the Marine Corps taught me to embrace it. And by embrace it, I mean smile and get violent. I can go from Zero to Insane in about 30 seconds for little to no reason at all. Its a real talent and site to behold. But since I've made these promises, I've made a sincere effort to calm the beast within. And its been really easy until I met T-Rex Lover.
Every day I take the Metro, as every true Washingtonian does, and I have to transfer trains. During my transfer, I caught my first glimpse of them. Sun hats, fanny packs, and that pure innocence that us Washingtonians lost years ago. Walking towards the stairs, I realized that they were going the same way. Stay away. Don't look at me. Too close. OH NO. "Excuse me, Sir, do you know how we can get to the museums? Stay calm. Just answer the question and no one will get hurt. "Sure, which one?" And then the little one spoke," THE ONES WITH THE T-REX..RWWRRRRR." Forcing a smile, I said," Sure you have to go to the Smithsonian stop." Then I realized I was going on the same train and before I could stop myself.."Follow me, I'm going that way."
While we were traveling on the train together, I started to smile to myself. I felt a real change. I was being nice to total strangers. Sure, I was 20 minutes behind schedule but I didn't mind.....I was being a total gentleman. As the train stopped the family said their goodbyes, and the little one reached towards me with his angelic hands. In the moment, I reached for them too. I felt a real connection to him. I loved kids. Not until we made contact did I notice the orange Cheetos stained prints being smeared down the front of my favorite Brooks Brothers shirt. The family just smiled. And so did I. Until the Metro doors closed. Then I screamed, "@#%?$^&$(%&!:" about the little #$*@!* all the way home.
Bag of Cheetos $1.79, Brooks Brothers shirt $79.80, Failure at First Gentlemanly Test: Priceless
Best,
HPG
As every Washingtonian knows by heart: With Spring, THEY come. FBI t-shirts, metro maps and bewildered grins fill our fair city streets. Yes, the infamous tourists. Its strange, and I'm likely the only one out there who feels this way, but I actually like tourists. Well, sort of. I've equated it to a Jekyll and Hyde relationship. One side of me goes insane when they block Metro exits, and stand on the left side of the escalator. However, the other side of me loves that the city is overrun with more folks who are shorter than me, well at least until their middle school bus drives off into the sunset.
So as you know my dear reader, I've made these promises to myself to become a gentleman and yesterday on the Metro I had my first true test of gentlemanly conduct with these tourist folk. Now, everyone knows a gentleman never loses his temper. Geesh, that's an easy one right? Not so for this Half Pint man. In fact, I've had a Jekyll and Hyde relationship in every arena of my life since I was a wee tater tot. While the civilized world taught me to mask this, unfortunately my stint in the Marine Corps taught me to embrace it. And by embrace it, I mean smile and get violent. I can go from Zero to Insane in about 30 seconds for little to no reason at all. Its a real talent and site to behold. But since I've made these promises, I've made a sincere effort to calm the beast within. And its been really easy until I met T-Rex Lover.
Every day I take the Metro, as every true Washingtonian does, and I have to transfer trains. During my transfer, I caught my first glimpse of them. Sun hats, fanny packs, and that pure innocence that us Washingtonians lost years ago. Walking towards the stairs, I realized that they were going the same way. Stay away. Don't look at me. Too close. OH NO. "Excuse me, Sir, do you know how we can get to the museums? Stay calm. Just answer the question and no one will get hurt. "Sure, which one?" And then the little one spoke," THE ONES WITH THE T-REX..RWWRRRRR." Forcing a smile, I said," Sure you have to go to the Smithsonian stop." Then I realized I was going on the same train and before I could stop myself.."Follow me, I'm going that way."
While we were traveling on the train together, I started to smile to myself. I felt a real change. I was being nice to total strangers. Sure, I was 20 minutes behind schedule but I didn't mind.....I was being a total gentleman. As the train stopped the family said their goodbyes, and the little one reached towards me with his angelic hands. In the moment, I reached for them too. I felt a real connection to him. I loved kids. Not until we made contact did I notice the orange Cheetos stained prints being smeared down the front of my favorite Brooks Brothers shirt. The family just smiled. And so did I. Until the Metro doors closed. Then I screamed, "@#%?$^&$(%&!:" about the little #$*@!* all the way home.
Bag of Cheetos $1.79, Brooks Brothers shirt $79.80, Failure at First Gentlemanly Test: Priceless
Best,
HPG
Nice. So? Temper or not?
Reply to this